MY LIFE -- Final Part

This final episode of the story of my life is only in English. If you or someone you know wants it in Spanish, please write to me at negevdell@hotmail.com.

Este es el último episodio de la historia de mi vida. Si lo gusta en Español, favor de escribirme a negevdell@hotmail.com.

BEFORE SHARING THIS STORY, LET ME REMIND YOU THAT WE'RE NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS TO JOIN OUR NEWLY FORMED COALITION: ANUSIM COALITION of the AMERICAS (ACA). Send me an email if you're interested: negevdell@hotmail.com.

Antes de compartir este último episodio de la historia de mi vida, permítame recordarle que estamos aceptando aplicaciones para unirse a nuestra nueva coalición: ANUSIM COALICION de las AMERCAS (ACA). Escríbame para más información: negevdell@hotmail.com.

MY LIFE // Mi Vida - Final Episode

Closing statement: A word on my personal feeling which I’ve never shared publicly

I’d like to close this platica (chat) with two things. First, I’d like to share something very personal which I rarely refer to; and secondly, I’d like to leave you with a couple of anecdotes that truly encourage my soul because of the people that spoke them.

Three nights ago, all of a sudden, something hit me. It’s so extensive and profound that I can only share the tip of the iceberg. It has to do with my deep and private emotions. I’ve been aware of this all my life but it became totally clear to me that the reason why I’ve felt alone (not lonely) and isolated and often alienated is because I have a Jewish soul because I am a Jew. All my life I’ve felt as though I don’t belong here or there; and I just do not fit in places where an ordinary man easily fits. In fact, just about a week or two ago, my fellow graduates of Sidney Lanier High School, class of ’61 celebrated their 50th anniversary reunion. Did I attend? No. But why? Because I didn’t feel I actually fit 50 years ago and fit much less half a century later. The reunion was well attended but how can I be there if I don’t fit nor feel a sense of belonging?

I’ve often wondered why Helen and I don’t seem to connect (or fit) in many places. But I will say that something more profound than words can express touches my soul when I’m in the presence of my Jewish family. I kind of feel like either I was orphaned from my ancient Jewish family and am barely waking up to the reality of where I do belong; or I’ve suffered some rare form of amnesia and am just coming out of it. But I have so, so very much to learn in order to catch up to where I wish I’d be today—before I get any older.

Be it as it may, on a happy and fulfilling note let me tell you a couple of stories which give me great hope.

During one of our many visits to Israel, while in the Negev, not far from the Gaza border, my son, Arek, shared his story of our people’s awakening with a young Israeli soldier who happened to be in uniform and well-armed. After hearing his story, almost with tears in his eyes he said, “Our rabbis have been telling us about your people and he’s saying their coming back home.”

The second story relates to an Israeli official who was the head of the Settlements Division for the Jewish Agency a few years ago and he’s now the chairman of the board of the Jewish National Fund in Jerusalem. He’s asked us to simply refer to him as Duvdev. During one of our various conferences at the Ben Gurion Heritage Institute at Sde Boker, Duvdev confessed something that almost knocked me off my chair. He said, “When I heard Dell and Helen’s story and all they’re doing for their people, I became a soldier of their cause.” Duvdev flew from Israel all the way to a major meeting we had with Anusim leaders in New Mexico and then flew to NYC to lobby on our behalf. After this, he flew back to San Antonio, Texas to meet with other Anusim leaders in our own home. We visit with him every time we’re in Israel and we’ll see him again while there next month.

The third story pertains to Rabbi Joshua Stampfer, rabbi in Portland, Oregon who was a guest speaker at another one of our conferences in the Negev. This senior rabbi in his 80’s declared to our audience that his life had begun anew during a trip he took to Belmonte, Portugal and how he found a number of secret Jews in that city, namely Anusim. With eyes wide open, he later discovered that there are many crypto Jews in New Mexico and all across America’s Southwest.

In one of my many sessions with a God-sent angel to me, Rabbi Scheinberg, in a warm tone of voice he asked me: “So Dell, do you think you’re a Jew?” My response was, “No sir—I KNOW I am a Jew.” In fact, all things considered, I’m a heck of a good Jew.

CAUTION: Handle with care!

My word to you is, don’t give up on us and my people. Be patient with us because most of the time we don’t know what we’re doing when it comes to our Jewish faith and customs. We’re a different breed people. And don’t forget: startling a person in a deep can tend to reveal some pretty interesting behaviors with a swing or two—and a few choice words.

Shalom y valentia,

Dell

PS, Someday I’ll share about the tragedy that took place in En Avdat in the Negev and how I made a covenant with The Almighty.